Date: 2007-10-15 04:41 pm (UTC)
Maybe it's surprising to outside observers, but I don't think it is if you know me well.

The reason I'm so dedicated is because it's an irrational fear. My mind likes logic. The majority of coasters, especially those built in the last 10 years, are pretty safe. I'm not going to die from riding one. So, it makes absolutely zero sense why I'd be afraid of them.

I'd been avoidant (like you) for a pretty long time, figuring my life was no better or worse off from avoiding coasters. However, it's come up often enough to be annoying, and I feel like I'm dragging friends down and preventing them from having a good time. I guess my friends are just insane. ;)

Anyway... yes. I decided I was being hypocritical. I'd tell people, for instance -- "your fear of airplane travel is irrational. "Your fear of driving is irrational." "Your fear of ham demons is irrational." (I don't know... I can't think of good examples. Use your imagination.) Logically, there should be no irrational fears. So, I was being hypocritical by avoiding coasters due to an irrational fear. I kept telling myself "my fear of coasters is irrational." And it drove me nuts. So I decided to dedicate myself to doing something about it.

I do very much appreciate the fact that I had some very patient friends, largely due to A LOT of prior discussion and planning that went into this trip and it's intended purpose (for me) of overcoming fears. [livejournal.com profile] justaredherring is into coaster riding like I'm into roadgeeking and collecting license plates, so that was pretty perfect. One thing I appreciated (that I haven't told her yet) was when AJ was on line getting a drink (before I rode the ride that scared me), we were watching this ultra scary ride that I'll probably never go on where they shoot you up a... well... high enough to see Canada at about 120 MPH. She was pointing out the brakes and safety features on the track and how they worked and what happens if they fail and suchlike. I liked that. Rationally, my mind was saying "...so it's safe." But, I wasn't about to GO on it, because my emotions still don't match my logic at that point.

I need to work on my irrational fear of flying, buzzing insects next. I'll concentrate on one irrational fear, and then the other.
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